


Perennial

by comeonlight



Category: Final Fantasy Type-0
Genre: (Not sure which AU tag to use actually), Alternate Universe, Bad Writing, Blood, F/F, Fighting/Killing, Mild l'Cie angst maybe, Not Exactly Healthy Relationships, One chocobo was harmed in the making of this fanfic, Sedation, Some other tags I forgot, sort of, suffering™
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-11-01
Updated: 2016-11-01
Packaged: 2018-08-28 11:04:10
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 9
Words: 7,830
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8443402
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/comeonlight/pseuds/comeonlight
Summary: A Class Fifth cadet at Akademeia seeks guidance from the Crystal. Instead, she finds confusion and possibly a friend - or more. Despite her status as an undercover spy, she forges a relationship with Orience's eldest l'Cie. There's no way this can end well...is there?





	1. First Meeting

**Author's Note:**

> This fic is literal garbage. It's super rushed. I know. The only reason I'm posting it is because I spent so much time writing this trash that I figured I might as well. Yolo.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Emina Hanaharu ventures into the catacombs and finds the Vermilion Bird Crystal, as well as a living legend.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I didn't specify but Emina is 19 here. This is somewhere in the Ice Reaper timeline.

Emina walked through the seemingly endless corridor, her only light coming from the rapidly burning candle that she held. She didn't so much as flinch as the hot wax dripped onto her hand. The only pain she felt was from the mark on her back. The Empire had rescued her, and then her saviors had bestowed upon her a terrible curse. Lies, forced smiles, and inevitable betrayal. That was what she was here in Akademeia for. The constant pain was a reminder of that.

Emina caught a glimpse of a faint light and blew out her candle. She continued walking, leaving a light trail of smoke behind her. The closer she got, the brighter the light became. And then she saw it: the Vermilion Bird Crystal in all its glory. Emina’s heart pounded at the immense power emanating from the Crystal. She stared at it, frozen in awe, and then - as she'd predicted - one of its guardians appeared.

“What reason have you to seek audience with the Crystal?” A young-looking woman emerged from the shadows, unalarmed and non-hostile from what Emina could see. They'd never met, but this woman needed no introduction. The l'Cie Caetuna eyed Emina with an unreadable expression, awaiting an answer. “...Wings of fire to lift the heart,” Emina said. “I wanted to see the Crystal just once, to see if my heart could ever…” “Wings of fire lift nothing. They burn what once was as it withers and rots, leaving only ash in their wake.” Caetuna’s words caught Emina by surprise. She hadn't been expecting a reaction at all, other than being told to leave or even being killed immediately.

Emina forced herself to maintain eye contact with Caetuna for more than a few seconds, and her expression quickly changed to a mix of horror and sadness. “The Crystal did that to you…” If Emina could recognize only a few things, loneliness and pain were on that list. Even in the eyes of a l'Cie, the suffering was clear. “I'm so sorry.” Caetuna turned to face the Crystal. “In this place, sympathy has no meaning. Emotion, memory, humanity itself - I have relinquished those things.”

Emina frowned. “...Please pardon my asking, but how can you say for sure that you gave those things up? How do you know that they weren't torn out of you? The Crystal takes our memories whether we want it to or not. The same could have happened with your emotions.” “When I chose to defend the Crystal, I accepted any and all consequences.” Caetuna remained stoic, solid, and still, like the Crystal itself.

“You do remember, don't you?” Emina asked quietly. “All that time alone, eating away at you, until you resigned completely…” She glanced at Caetuna's eyes, which were still fixated on the Crystal. It would be inappropriate to take the action she was considering, but all the same she felt it needed to be done. “...Um, please excuse me.” Emina took small steps closer to Caetuna and slowly captured her in a light embrace. Only then did the l'Cie glance down at the peculiar cadet.

Emina released Caetuna and stepped back, afraid to make eye contact again. She swallowed, preparing to excuse herself once again and take her leave when Caetuna asked, “What are you called?” Emina hesitantly looked up and met the empty gaze that simultaneously seemed to look straight through and bore into her. “I am...My name is Emina Hanaharu.” Caetuna looked back to the Crystal. “I see.”

The hand in which Emina had carried her candle - which was now a dried puddle of wax - began to glow faintly. The wax crumbled and faded into nothingness, and the mild burns on her hand healed instantly. “Thank you,” Caetuna murmured. Emina raised her brow, surprised at the gesture. “I...of course. I mean, thank you, Milady.” She paused. There was nothing left to be said. Nothing to do but sneak out of the catacombs, which would probably prove to be just as difficult as sneaking in. Though, for some reason, the task didn't seem daunting at all. “I hope I get to see you again.” Emina smiled, and with that, left the presence of the Vermilion Bird Crystal’s Secundus l'Cie.


	2. Research

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Emina is writing a paper for class and asks Kazusa for some assistance.

“You're writing your paper on Lady Caetuna? That seems like quite the daunting task, even for a star student such as yourself.” Kazusa frowned slightly. “I really thought you'd go for a topic like improving Akademeia or the history of our uniforms.” Emina looked at the paper in her hand with a red stamp of approval on it, right next to where she'd written the l'Cie’s name. “Yeah, I would've...But this piqued my interest.” She turned her head to look at Kazusa. “Hey, you're exempt from this assignment because of some lab stuff, right? Since it's so ‘daunting,’ in your words, would you like to help me? It can kill some time.”

Emina forced a smile. Right now, Kazusa needed all the distractions he could get. He put up a believable front, but Emina knew better. Every moment waiting for Kurasame to return from a mission taxed him. Being hailed as Rubrum’s most powerful cadet also meant being sent on the most perilous missions. Survival was never certain. “Well,” Kazusa said. “If you insist…” He smirked. “I do have quite the network.” Emina sighed. “Suspicious as always, Kazusa. I'll be in the Crystarium later. The spot where we usually sit. Drop by when you're done with today's scientific adventure.” She gave a small wave and began to walk away. Kazusa’s smirk soon faded. “...Right. Scientific adventure.”

“Guess what I've got,” Kazusa chimed as he approached Emina. He placed a thin notebook on the table. “Is it something that will help me with this assignment?” Emina asked. Kazusa took the seat beside her. “Precisely. Or, at least it will satiate some of your curiosity. The original is very delicate so I took the liberty of copying it word for word. It would be wrong to take it from its proper place.” “What are you going on about?” Emina asked before opening the notebook to the first page. “And what...who...” She trailed off as she began to read. 

 

_ My dearest Caetuna, no apology can amend my grave mistake. Had I known the Vermilion Bird would next pose the question to thee, I would have relinquished my humanity. But, I was weak. In that moment, cowardice overtook me. Now, you are an immortal puppet of the Crystal. Thy smile, brilliant as thy mind, shall disappear forever. Thy very soul shall wither and burn to ashes in the mighty Vermilion Bird’s flame. I can only pray that thy sentence is quick. Oh, how I pray. As equal as the two of us were in wit and in combat, my heart is weak and trembles before thine. For years you cared for the children of our village, whilst studying the magic arts. You easily surpassed all of our fellow students when you arrived at Akademeia, all the while displaying endless generosity and kindness. I was never worthy of loving you, but I am ever grateful that you allowed as pathetic a man as myself to do so. I am ever grateful for thy sacrifice, and I am ever regretful. You will forget me one day. Until that day comes, however, with my life I shall honor thee. The one light in this dark abyss, mayhap, is that the memory of you shall last. The Vermilion Bird's Secundus l'Cie, the great, truly great, Lady Caetuna. _

 

“Huh. So that's the type of person she was…” “You seem surprised,” Kazusa remarked. Emina remained silent a moment, then chuckled. “No, I knew she was kind. Even now, she's…” “What?” “Uh, nevermind. It did kind of catch me off guard how she had a lover at one point. But I guess all l'Cie were young once. Wait a minute, Kazusa, where did you get this anyway?” Kazusa leaned back in his chair. “Well, back in the olden days, those attending Akademeia had the option to leave pieces of themselves for the records, in addition to their Knowing Tags. Whether it be a prized object, diary, their mantle upon graduation, or whatever have you. They're kept in typically off-limits spaces, but...I have some special privileges.”

“Kazusa, I can't use this for my paper. Legalities aside, this is really personal stuff and it doesn't provide that much information.” Emina frowned intensely at the written words. “A dead man who supposedly honored Lady Caetuna with his life,” Kazusa reasoned. “Surely wouldn't be upset if the contents of his heart were shared for academic reasons. And Milady herself, well, she of course must be indifferent.” Emina sighed, shaking her head. “I don't even know why I'm going on with this anymore but, did she leave anything?” “Not so much as a Knowing Tag,” Kazusa responded. “Funnily enough, the Knowing Tag of the author of these heartfelt words is missing as well. I doubt they're in the same place, though, if they even still exist.”

“...I really did pick a difficult topic.” Emina moved her gaze to the stack of books she'd collected on the table earlier. “At least I have a few more resources to dig through.” “You might want to check those out,” Kazusa said. “The Crystarium closes soon.” He rose from his seat. “Here, I'll help you carry them.” He took three of the books, leaving the notebook and a mission report for Emina to carry. “Thanks,” Emina said with a nod as she stood as well. They walked toward the exit and stopped by the bookkeeper, who took a quick glance at the materials, scribbled a note, and swiftly slipped it into Kazusa's front pocket before bidding the pair farewell.

“I had no idea it was already so late,” Emina thought aloud as she and Kazusa walked toward a portal. They were swiftly transported to a long hallway. “Did you have dinner, Kazusa?” “Yeah, all good here,” Kazusa said. “How about you? Need a bite?” Emina shrugged as they made their way down the hall. “I'm not too hungry, and I have a couple of apples in my room. They're pretty big too so one of those should fill me right up.” “I see,” Kazusa murmured. They reached the very last door on the right, and Emina opened it.

“Heh,” Kazusa huffed, setting the books on Emina's desk. “Just a tad heavy.” Emina set the notebook and mission report on top of the stack. “Maybe a little,” she joked, taking the bookkeeper’s note from Kazusa's pocket and also placing that on her desk. “Hey, Kazusa...are you alright?” Kazusa raised his brow. “Hm? Oh.” “Yeah,” Emina said. She walked back to the door and closed it. “Look, I'm worried too. But the most we can do right now is just to have faith in him.” “I know, I know,” Kazusa muttered, scratching his head. Emina turned around and headed back to her desk, her eyes set on the basket of apples there. “Sorry. I know you can't help it. It's one of those things…” She took an apple in her hand and stared off into space. “Hey, Kazusa. You can spend the night again if you need to.”

“I was planning to anyway,” Kazusa said, his voice suddenly monotonous. Emina turned but was only able to catch a glimpse of a needle before liquid was being injected into her arm. She backhanded Kazusa with said arm, sending the half-emptied syringe to the floor. “Kaz-” His hand covered her mouth as he summoned another syringe, the needle barely breaking the skin on her other arm before she kicked him across the room. Emina began to contemplate her options of escape but the first drug quickly kicked in, effectively preventing her from executing any plans she could've come up with.

Emina fell to her knees as Kazusa recovered. She looked up to him with eyes full of not rage, but fear. “Ka...kau…” She attempted to move any of her limbs to no avail. Kazusa knelt before her, sticking his syringe into her neck this time. “My mission is to investigate suspicious individuals and to report any threats to the dominion.” He injected the fluid. Emina stared at her friend, tears forming in her eyes before her world went black.


	3. Confidence

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Emina has no choice but to confide in Kazusa, but she doesn't mind telling the details of her situation to someone else in particular.

Emina’s eyelids were heavy when she opened them, and the light pouring through her window brought on a massive headache. She could see her jacket and mantle at the foot of her bed, and the memories of the previous night's altercation quickly rushed back. Her stomach sank. “Awake, are we?” She couldn't tell which direction Kazusa’s voice was coming from. “I predicted you'd be out for nearly twenty-four hours but it's only been about fifteen. You're just full of surprises, aren't you?”

“Kau...I’m…” “The paralysis won't wear off for a while. Take it easy. You should be able to talk in a few hours though.” “I...g...die?” “I said to take it easy,” Kazusa sighed, coming into view when he sat on the edge of Emina's bed. “You're a spy sent by Milites. I'm not sure if you remember, but I told you last night that my job is to investigate and report any threats to the dominion.” He paused. “So, in the end it's up to you. Are you a threat to the dominion? I know that you love this place. But where does your loyalty lie? You'll have time to think that over before you're actually able to respond.”

Emina stared, slightly confused. She pondered her being in the dominion and closed her eyes. “I…” Her consciousness faded and Kazusa sighed to himself. “I'm sure you couldn't harm this place if you tried. It's your home too, after all…”

“I don't think I could harm the dominion if I tried...it's my home now.” Emina sipped from the glass of water Kazusa had provided her. “I really shouldn't be accepting something to drink from you after you drugged me...We've got some trust to rebuild.” “You make a valid point,” Kazusa said. “But at least the one matter is settled.” “What?” Emina asked. “You mean you're just going to pretend you didn't see it?” “That's exactly what I mean,” Kazusa said. Emina shook her head. “Thanks, but...it doesn't help much. I'm still terrified. I feel like they'll find me out any second, with or without your help.” “That's always a possibility,” Kazusa agreed. “So shouldn't you live your life to the fullest right now?”

Emina smiled. “Hm. Maybe you're right. In which case…” She rose from her bed. “I'm going to take a nice bath, get some food in my stomach, and go see Lady Caetuna.” “What was that last part?” Kazusa asked. Emina smirked. “You should wait to fully recover before sneaking into the catacombs,” Kazusa advised. “But you really shouldn't be going there at all!” “Don't worry,” Emina assured him. “I've done it before.” “You...Wait, do you mean you saw-” “Catch you later!”

* * *

“Emina Hanaharu.” Caetuna spoke her name before Emina could greet her. “You remembered my name...I'm honored.” Caetuna continued to gaze at the Crystal as she had been doing since long before Emina's arrival. “I remember all who enter these halls, until they perish. There are very few…” “I can imagine,” Emina said quietly. “Say, Lady Caetuna? If you don't mind my asking, are there any others who have been here, in front of the Crystal? Besides you l'Cie, I mean.”

Caetuna remained silent. “Perhaps that question wasn't appropriate,” Emina said. “Please, pardon me.” “There is one,” Caetuna said. “Make no mistake. She is no mortal…” “No mortal?” Emina repeated. “...What has caused you to seek the Crystal’s light once more?” Caetuna’s query surprised Emina. Not only had she changed the subject of the conversion, but she had inquired about a human.

“I didn't...come here to see the Crystal,” Emina said. “I wanted to see you.” Caetuna slowly turned and faced Emina. “You speak true words. Yet, this truth is incomplete. What ails you?” She stared at the cadet blankly, watching her lips prepare to form words, only to hesitate and try something else. “A lot of...things,” Emina finally stammered. “I...I'm sorry. Lady Caetuna? Can you keep a secret?” “Your hands tremble for such trivial matters.” Caetuna's words caused Emina to look down. Her hands were, in fact, trembling, if only slightly.

“I have no obligations to discuss matters unrelated to the wellbeing of the Vermilion Bird Crystal,” Caetuna continued. “Will you speak, or will your suffering be silent?” “...I'm afraid for my life,” Emina said. She hesitated for a few moments, then went on. “I'm a spy, and one of my best friends drugged me and found my brand. He said he wouldn't tell but I'm still terrified.” A lump formed in her throat, but she swallowed and continued. “...It's not like I wanted to be a spy. I have a home here now and I don't want to lose that. And not only that, but my life itself. I'll die if they find me out. I'm...I'm really scared. I didn't know I could be this…” “Emina.” Caetuna walked toward her and rested a hand on her shoulder.

Emina looked up, her vision blurred by fresh tears. “I'm so sorry.” “You are human,” Caetuna said, removing a handkerchief from an unseen pocket. She dabbed at Emina's eyes and damp cheeks, then handed her the cloth. Emina simply stared. Her gaze was locked on the l'Cie’s face for some reason or another. Caetuna noticed this and tilted her head slightly, as if asking a silent question. “You really are kind,” Emina said, a smile coming to her face.

Caetuna's eyes widened slightly. “...How odd.” “Is something wrong, Milady?” Emina asked. Caetuna seemed to ponder something before she answered. “...No. Think nothing of it.” “Hm…” Emina did a little pondering of her own. “Lady Caetuna, I'm not sure if I should tell you this but I found out...Well, someone from a long time ago wrote about you. He said you were brilliant, and kind, and generous. And I know you're not the same as back then. But those words still ring true.” Heat rose to her face. What was she  _ saying? _

Caetuna's expression softened slightly, and then she swiftly turned around to face the Crystal. “I am l'Cie. Nothing more, nothing less.” Emina frowned. “I guess that's my cue to leave...Thank you, Milady. I'm not sure when I'll be back. But, I will come see you. I promise.” She clenched the handkerchief and made her exit.

Almost immediately afterward, Zhuyu appeared. “The same human from before?” “Yes,” Caetuna responded. “I feel as if she can return a small fragment of what I have lost.” “Yet you had advised me to relinquish all remnants of my humanity.” Zhuyu folded his arms and looked at the Crystal. “Perhaps she has already restored that fragment.” Caetuna didn't respond. When Zhuyu looked at her again, she appeared to be deep in thought, so he took his leave. “Until the next time we meet…”


	4. Beginnings

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Kurasame has returned to his friends in time for graduation. With a new stage of life come new experiences. This is especially true for Emina.

Kurasame sat up in bed, holding his head with his hand. “I don't remember a thing…” Emina gently pushed him back down into bed. “Rest now. You're not fully healed yet, after all.” Kurasame complied and closed his eyes. A few seconds later, a cadet that had been peeking into the room entered. “Perfect score, Emina,” she whispered, handing her a graded paper. “Thanks,” Emina murmured, her mind elsewhere. “We should give him some time alone,” Kazusa suggested. “Wouldn't want to wake him.” Nodding, Emina followed his lead and left the infirmary.

The cadet who had delivered Emina's paper ran off elsewhere, leaving her to speak with Kazusa outside the infirmary. “Graduation’s right around the corner,” Kazusa said. “So much has happened, it feels like forever since we were first enlisted as cadets.” “Yeah,” Emina sighed. “I wish it didn't have to end like this though...three comrades, gone just like that. I can't imagine how Kurasame must feel.” Kazusa looked down. “...We're all he really has left here, aren't we? And Tonberry.” Emina fell silent. “Emina.” Kazusa didn't look up. “Don't die. Promise me that. Promise you won't become another hole in his heart.”

Emina smiled bitterly. “You know I can't promise that, Kazusa. You know better than anyone.” “I guess you're right,” Kazusa murmured. “...I'm going to go to bed. Can you watch Kurasame?” “It's pretty early,” Emina remarked. “But sure thing. Just get some rest.”

* * *

“‘Commanding Officer Emina.’” Kazusa crossed his arms. “Eh, doesn't sound as good as ‘Commanding Officer Kurasame.’ Though, neither of you have a class yet…” “Does the guy in a dorky lab coat really expect us to take him seriously?” Emina asked. “Aren't you still in training?” Kurasame asked her. “Nope,” Emina said. “Full-fledged CO. I've got more experience than you think. You'd be surprised what kind of missions some people receive.” She and Kazusa exchanged a quick glance. “Okay,” Kurasame said. “...Well, it was nice to see you two today. I've got some business to take care of.” With that, he started to walk away. “I'd try to harass him a bit but I actually also have something to tend to,” Kazusa said. “I'm sure you do,” Emina sighed. “What's that supposed to mean?” Kazusa asked. “Oh, nothing,” Emina teased. “...Speaking of things to do, there is one thing I wanted to take care of too. I guess I'll see you guys...when I see you.” “Yeah,” Kazusa said with a small wave. “‘Til then.”

* * *

The faint scent of smoke lingered in the catacombs. Emina found it odd, but what she found even more odd was that Caetuna was on her knees staring at the ground rather than standing watching the Crystal. “Lady Caetuna?” Emina rushed to her side. “Are you alright?” For the first time, she saw emotion in Caetuna's eyes. There was sorrow and helplessness, and hints of anger. “...” Emina placed a hand on Caetuna's back, unsure what to do. “...Worry not,” Caetuna murmured. She looked up at Emina, her eyes now seemingly void of distress. “For what reason have you visited this time?”

Emina hesitated. “I told you before, I just want to see you...and I wanted to tell you I graduated. But that's really not important right now. What happened to make you-” “I decline to speak of such matters,” Caetuna said flatly. She slowly reached for Emina's free hand. “However, I am thankful for your arrival. I feel as if…” She trailed off, staring into Emina's eyes. “Milady?” “Congratulations,” Caetuna said. Emina’s eyes widened. “O-oh...thank you…”

“I should not seek what I have lost,” Caetuna said to herself. “Only sorrow would come of such action. Yet…” Emina’s brow furrowed. What was Caetuna talking about? For someone so composed and stoic to be in this state was beyond strange. “...May I kiss you?” “Eh?!” The noise that slipped out of Emina's mouth was high-pitched and it echoed a few times in the Crystal’s chamber.

“I…” Emina had no clue what to say. Sure, she wouldn't exactly mind it, but it seemed so out of the blue. Sure, she'd wished she could meet someone amazing and fall in love. Sure, she felt _something_ whenever she thought about Caetuna, but actually being asked such a question by the l'Cie herself and suddenly coming face to face with feelings she wasn't aware were blossoming - it was too much to process.

“I...um…” Emina forced herself to speak. “Y-yes.” With permission granted, Caetuna tilted her head and leaned toward Emina. “...” Emina felt her cheeks burn as soft lips touched hers. Her body froze, save for her lips which slowly parted, silently asking for a deeper kiss. Caetuna granted her wish, but only for a moment before withdrawing. She stood, not making any comment. Emina remained on the ground, reliving the past few seconds in her mind. “...Wh-why...I mean, that was-” “As I thought, I feel...something,” Caetuna said.

“Yeah, me too,” Emina agreed under her breath, holding back a goofy grin. “I shall visit you,” Caetuna stated. “Huh?” “Yes...very soon.” Caetuna retreated to the darkness, leaving Emina in front of the Vermilion Bird Crystal. “...Well, that was unexpected.”


	5. Irresponsibility

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> As promised, Caetuna makes a visit.

Emina had no clue what “soon” meant for someone who had been wasting away for five centuries. A few days? No, it had already been weeks. Would it take months? Decades? She wondered about it nearly constantly, but went about her daily duties. She'd mostly been stuck with grading assignments from trainees and cadets in Classes Ninth, Tenth, and Twelfth. It was a pretty boring job, but it could prove to be amusing at times (one particular student's work had made her unsure whether to laugh or cry). At any rate, it was less stressful than going out on the field. Though, she did wish she could visit Concordia. She'd always wanted to try the tea there and have a look at the scenery. Maybe some day…

“Miss Emina.” A familiar voice called from her open doorway. “Central Command would like you to perform a task.” Emina rose from her seat at her desk and began to walk toward the legionary standing just outside her room. “Central Command? That's unusual. So, what's the job, Tachinami?” Tachinami held out an envelope containing documents. “This is the report from the mission I recently returned from. Central Command would like you to analyze all that is described here and give any possible theories you may have as to what may be in store for the future. It seems your input would be valued.”

Emina took the envelope. “Is that so…” She partially removed one page from the envelope to glance at it. “Funny, I was just thinking about Concordia. Alright, Tachinami, I'll send my analysis to Central Command before you can say ‘I'm way too uptight.’” Tachinami blinked. “Excuse me?” “Oh, nothing,” Emina giggled. Tachinami frowned in confusion, then left to tend to whatever other duties he had.

Emina shook her head and closed her door. “Hah. Alrighty…” She returned to her desk. After she finished grading the few papers she had left, she'd be able to delve into that mission report. Maybe it would take her mind off of...Well, anticipation was probably the best word to describe what she felt. Every time she thought about her last encounter with Caetuna, a mix of emotions stirred inside of her that made her feel like she was slowly going insane. Which she could live with. Maybe she could find peace in madness. Or in the arms of a woman around twenty-six times her age. But wouldn't that be madness in itself?

“You appear to be troubled.” Caetuna’s voice caused Emina to jump. “...H-Hello...Milady.” Really, what else was she supposed to say? She was caught totally off guard. “Uh. I uh, I'm fine. I was just lost in thought and…” She turned around in her chair. “When did you…” “I'd been observing you,” Caetuna explained. “And now, I have chosen to reveal myself.” Emina tilted her head. “So, you were watching me and just now decided to deactivate your Invisible spell?” “Yes,” Caetuna confirmed. “I decided…” She murmured the words to herself again. “I decided...I made the choice…”

Emina stood. “Lady Caetuna? Are you alright?” She took slow steps toward the l'Cie, who reached for her hands when she came within arm's reach. “Quite…” “Oh. Good.” Emina wasn't sure what to make of the situation. Caetuna seemed even stranger each time they met. Not that that was a bad thing. “...Your hands are warm.” “Should I release you?” “No.” Emina could feel her cheeks reddening. There was no use trying to hide it, though. The next query would make her even more flustered.

“Would you perhaps release me?” Caetuna's voice took on an almost pleading tone. “Whilst observing you, I was almost able to smile. Some time soon I may view you as a friend. Whilst touching you, I feel some sense of freedom, if but for a miniscule fragment of time. I do not understand. A soul as weathered as mine should not feel, yet-” “Caetuna.” Dropping the honorific emboldened Emina. She leaned forward slowly and tilted her chin upward, standing on the tips of her toes so that her lips could reach Caetuna's.

Emina's heart pounded in her ears, but at the same time she felt relieved. This second kiss provided clarity rather than confusion. Sure, there were a lot of questions left, like why she felt the way she did in the first place, but that didn't matter when she was being kissed breathless. For once something finally felt right.

Caetuna stepped back and looked down at their hands. “This is a mistake.” She sounded distant, simply stating the fact without a hint of regret in her voice. Her hands released Emina’s, then moved up to seize her shirt collar. “I advise for you to push me away.” “I don't want to,” Emina said. “Then, I apologize for what misery this may bring about in your future.” Caetuna tugged the fabric in her hands and met Emina’s lips again. The kiss felt intoxicating. Emina’s world became hazy save for Caetuna's touch and the sound of her own heartbeat. She lost sight of everything, swept up in a storm of sensations and her own emotions. Whatever her relationship was with Caetuna was escalating way too quickly, and even though she knew it wasn't wise, she allowed it. Before she realized, she was waking up in bed several hours later.

  
“...Damn.” Emina’s face turned bright red. _“Damn.”_ If she loved...was it too soon to say that? Maybe. Probably. But what else could she say? If she loved Caetuna, but Caetuna couldn't return those feelings, but they did _that..._ She could live with it. It apparently gave Caetuna some sense of freedom, so she was more than happy to help. Even if it would potentially crush her.


	6. Visiter

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Deep in the catacombs, Caetuna receives a visit.  
> Short(er than usual) chapter. Minichapter?

“Is something the matter, dear?” The words brought Caetuna out of the trance she'd been in. “You usually stare at the wall by Yugino.” “So, you've decided to intervene?” Caetuna asked, continuing to face the wall. The woman behind her raised a cigarette to her lips, inhaling deeply before blowing out a giant cloud of smoke. “You are sworn to serve, and serve you shall. The Crystal doesn't seem too concerned about what you do with your free time as long as you remain hidden. In the end, you shall fulfill the Focus given to you. We both know that you don't have nearly enough will left to even try to defy your master.”

She was correct. “Then, why have you come here?” Caetuna turned and faced the woman, who wore a smile. “Can't I visit once in awhile? I only wanted to give you some company.” “I would prefer solitude,” Caetuna said. Golden eyes glanced over her. “We both know that's not true at all. But, I'll leave you to have your fun. Your spring flower will wilt soon enough anyway.” She turned and left Caetuna's presence, with a trail of smoke behind her.


	7. Indigo

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Five years have passed, and Emina's standard routine is interrupted when she receives mission orders.

Five years. This had been going on for five years. Emina had accepted that Caetuna could never return her feelings, and she was at peace with it. Would that fact stop her from uttering “I love you” during each visit? Absolutely not. Would it cause her to eventually push Caetuna away in order to protect her own heart? Not a chance. If she could give Caetuna company and even just an illusion of freedom, she'd give it to her. That's not to say she didn't gain anything from this affair. She did. Crystals, she did.

Emina quietly sang to herself as she sat in bed flipping through a novel, searching for the page she'd left off on. “This battle prayer is but a transience…” She wished she'd used a bookmark, but she'd fallen asleep reading. The text was absolutely enthralling. She'd have to search for any other works by the author when she was finished. “Aha.” Finally having found the point she'd dozed off at, Emina put a bookmark in place and prepared to delve back into the tale.

A knock on the door prevented Emina from continuing the novel. “Miss Hanaharu, you have an assignment.” Emina sighed and closed her book, then walked over to her door to greet whoever stood beyond it. “An assignment, you said?” Emina asked upon opening her door. A younger woman - a junior officer judging by her uniform - saluted and went into further detail. “Yes. My name is Kasumi Tobuki. You and I are to escort the Deputy Prime Liaison’s daughter from Toguagh back to Akademeia. Please report to Central Command when your preparations are complete.” 

Emina smiled. “A daughter...Hey, Kasumi, do you know her name? The little girl?” Kasumi’s face conveyed confusion as to what had Emina so happy all of a sudden, but she gave a straightforward answer: “Ai. Ai Tomoshibi.” “Thank you,” Emina said. “I'll be ready in a flash.” And she was indeed quick, reporting to Central Command in a matter of minutes.

“Once you reach Toguagh, you will meet with Lady Ai and her escort from Concordia. His name is Sanzashi. He shouldn't be hard to find. From there, you will escort Lady Ai to Akademeia and bring her here to Central Command. Chocobos are waiting for you at the stables. You may commence your mission immediately.” Tachinami dismissed Emina and Kasumi, who then headed for the chocobo ranch.

“So uptight, that guy,” Emina sighed. “He gets things done,” Kasumi said. “He may be lacking in social skills, but he's a good role model.” She mounted a chocobo and began to adjust the reigns. “Indeed,” Emina said, following suit. “Hm...check...and check. We ready to go?” “Yes,” Kasumi confirmed. “Let's finish this mission swiftly.” With that, she took off, and Emina joined her on the path to Toguagh.

“Hey, Kasumi,” Emina said. She figured there was no harm in small talk on the way to the town. “What weapon do you use? I'm curious.” “A sword and shield,” Kasumi replied. “And magic. I can still use it. How about you? I heard you can handle any weapon.” Emina raised her brow. “Really? Who told you that?” “Actually, it was Tachinami. He said you're very capable.” “Aw, what a sweetheart.” Emina paused, as if contemplating something. “I don't exactly have a preference as far as weapons go. I can't use magic anymore, but what I have on me packs a punch, in my humble opinion. Even if it is considered a prototype, it hasn't let me down. The gunblade.”

“Oh, you've got your hands on one?” Kasumi asked, sounding rather surprised. “I heard the design is based on blueprints stolen from Milites, but the gun function is being reworked for compatibility with magic.” “Yeah, that's it exactly,” Emina said. “Or that's how the story goes, anyway. This one fires traditional bullets so I can utilize both functions. Hopefully I won't have to use it though.” Kasumi nodded. “Let's hope for the best, but always be prepared for the worst.” “Right.”

The two women traveled in silence for some time before Emina brought up a point that wasn't quite small talk. “...Don't you think it's weird for Lady Aoi to approve of a lone Concordian soldier to escort her daughter to Toguagh? Even if our nations aren't at odds, wouldn't it make more sense to send a dominion legionary or two?” Kasumi shrugged. “Maybe it was more convenient. Besides, I've heard that Lady Aoi knows Sanzashi personally. If she trusts him with her daughter then who are we to say anything?” 

Emina grinned. “You sure have an ear to the ground. It can be a good trait to have. You'll do just fine working in Central Command.” “Thank you.” The rest of the journey to Toguagh was quiet, but it went by quickly and without any issues.

The first thing Emina spotted upon entering town was a suit of armor that stuck out like a sore thumb. “There he is,” Kasumi said. A legionary stationed in Toguagh took their chocobos, promising to return with well-rested ones very soon. In the meantime, Kasumi and Emina walked to the town square to meet Sanzashi. As they approached, Sanzashi nodded and the little girl holding his hand waved to them with a bright smile on her face.

“Kasumi Tobuki and Emina Hanaharu,” Kasumi said, motioning to herself and then to Emina. “I trust you've been notified that we will escort Lady Ai to Akademeia.” Sanzashi nodded. “Yes. She has recently been fed and she is excited to be reunited with her mother, so please make haste.” Ai’s eyes lit up. “Imma see Mama?” Emina knelt in front of the small child and smiled. “That's right. We're going to take you to see your mama. Sooo…” She took Ai into her arms and stood up. “Let's go.” Ai turned her head and reached for Sanzashi. “Bye-bye, Sanshi!” Sanzashi waved to her. “Bye-bye, Lady Ai.”


	8. Crimson

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Emina and Kasumi complete their mission, by all means necessary.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I can't write battles lmao, this chapter is especially bad and unrealistic.

“And I got to meet Miss Star Princess. I think Sanshi likes her. Like ‘mwa mwa.’ But she is...um...what's that word when a girl only likes other girls?” Emina chuckled at Ai’s tales of her time in Mahamayuri. “Lady Celestia is a lesbian, Ai.” “Yeah!” Ai said. “That was it. A lesbean.” Emina held back laughter and glanced over to Kasumi, who didn't appear amused at all by the four-year-old strapped to the front of her body. 

“Looks like we'll make it before nightfall,” Emina said. Kasumi nodded. “That’s the plan. But the sun is getting lower. Let's hurry.” She sped up a little on her chocobo, and Emina's followed. “Wee!” Ai cheered. The warm breeze and the blue sky's slow transformation into an orange and pink backdrop made the trip enjoyable for the next few minutes. Ai had begun to drift off to sleep, and all was well until Emina sensed a presence. She looked over to Kasumi, who was looking right back at her. “I'll go ahead.”

Kasumi charged ahead at full speed on her chocobo. “Not so fast!” Out of a patch of trees came a fast-moving vehicle carrying three Militesi soldiers. One of the soldiers took aim and shot, and the bullet scraped the leg of Kasumi's chocobo, but the bird continued running. “Good girl,” Kasumi murmured. “Just get us to Akademeia, okay? It's not that much farther.” “Are we gonna be okay?” Ai asked, just stirred from her sleep but very aware that danger was near. “Don't worry,” Kasumi assured her. “Everything's going to be just fine.” “What about Emi?” “I'll come back for her after I get you to Akademeia, okay? She'll be alright.” Ai pouted. “Promise?” Kasumi retained a calm voice. “Pinky promise.”

The vehicle passed Emina by and sped toward Kasumi and Ai. Emina tailed the soldiers from Milites, drawing her gunblade. “Oh no you don't.” She squinted and aimed for the head of one soldier, then pulled the trigger. The bullet hit directly, but it ricocheted off the soldier's helmet, only pushing his head back. “Alright, let's try again.” She aimed for the wheels of the vehicle as a soldier on board shot at the legs of Kasumi's chocobo. The chocobo fell, and Kasumi dismounted immediately. Emina shot at the vehicle's wheels, slowing but not stopping it. “Come on,” she said to the chocobo she was riding. If she could catch up she'd be able to do a lot more damage.

“Thunder!” Electricity shot from Kasumi's fingertips to the vehicle, which caused it to start smoking. “Fira!” The soldiers abandoned the vehicle just before it combusted. Through the resulting thick smoke, Emina's chocobo rammed one of the soldiers, knocking him out. She charged out of the smoke and headed for the next soldier she spotted, who was chasing after Kasumi.

“Keep running, Kasumi!” Emina shouted as she changed her weapon to its sword form. She leapt from her chocobo and plunged her weapon into the back of the soldier in pursuit. Withdrawing her bloodied sword, she turned around - only to fall and realize that her leg had been shot. With no time to dwell on the physical pain, she looked around for the last enemy. Another shot hit her shoulder, and the third soldier revealed himself by running out of the smoke toward her. “Okay, now I'm mad.”

Emina dropped her gunblade, then picked it up with her other hand, managing to transform it in a swift motion. She took aim as her opponent did the same. He seemed to hesitate, but Emina had no second thoughts. She shot the soldier in the chest, and he stumbled back. “You don't think one lousy shot will get through my armor, do you?” He smirked and aimed again as he stepped forward. A close-ranged shot was fired, but Emina deflected it with her blade. “You may be a fine woman, but you're a bit too persistent for me.” The soldier raised his gun and prepared to finish Emina with a strike to the head, but before he could land the killing blow, Emina stabbed him through the gut.

“You…” The soldier fell to the ground in front of Emina, and the memory of the battle began to fade from her mind. “I'm rustier than I thought.” She stood slowly, and blood gushed from the wound on her leg. “Oh boy.” She sat down and prepared to treat her wound. She didn't have much on hand; some bandages and alcohol would have to do. She began to clean the bullet hole, swearing under her breath at the stinging.

“Alright…” Emina wrapped the injured section of her leg in bandages and exhaled. Her shoulder wasn't bleeding much. Maybe she could just wait to get it treated at Akademeia. It wasn't too far away. Even if her chocobo had run off, she should've been able to manage the walk. “Hey, hey, hey...Getting run over by a feathery freak ain't fun.” The soldier Emina had knocked out earlier became visible as he emerged from the smoke in the retreating sunlight. He approached her slowly, practically yelling across the decreasing distance between them.

“But what's even less fun is dying!” The soldier removed his helmet and threw it in Emina's direction. “Good grief,” Emina muttered as she removed her weapon from her most recently slain enemy. The helmet hit her in the head and she began to bleed, but she hardly flinched. “You're right,” she said. “Dying isn't fun at all. Too bad you're about to have that unpleasant experience.” “What did you say?!” the soldier shouted. “You've got a lot of nerve, I'll kill you right now!” He ran forward, firing his gun four times.

Emina deflected two bullets and one missed her completely, but one hit her abdomen. “Stupid Vermilion scum…” He kicked Emina as she lashed out with her blade, pushing her onto the ground and injuring his leg. “Heh. Clipped wings. Fear the wrath of the White Tiger!” He took aim one last time and shot Emina in the chest, then fell to the ground, lifeless.

“Thanks for that one, Kasumi…Look at you, casting Death.” Kasumi kneeled at Emina's side. “Quit talking. You're losing a lot of blood. I'll use Cure but I can't guarantee you'll make it.” She began to cast the spell, and Emina flinched at the pain. “You know,” Emina continued despite Kasumi's request. “I really didn't want to die so early...and this is not...the most graceful way to go.” She winced.

“I should've had you take Lady Ai back. Leaving you against three enemies with no magic wasn't wise. I'm sorry.” Kasumi’s words were sincere, and Emina smiled. “Kasumi, quit the spell. It's not…” “Miss Hanaharu, just hold on!” Kasumi's magic gave Emina the energy to continue speaking. “Maybe they were...hoping.” She took a pained breath. “That I'd die here. I'm a spy...after all.” Kasumi paused her healing. “W-What?” “Maybe. Kazusa hid it...all this time. I don't want to be, but…”

“I have to leave you here, then,” Kasumi murmured. “Yeah,” Emina sighed. “It was nice to meet you…” Kasumi said nothing as she stood. She marched to the chocobo she'd ridden out to the site and mounted it, taking one last glance at Emina. “Goodbye.” She left swiftly, and Emina lie in the grass with her eyes shut. “Hey. I know...you're there.”

Caetuna appeared in the light of the moon. “Had I known you would meet your end like this, I would have paid you one last visit under more preferable circumstances.” A tear rolled down the side of Emina's face. “I know you would have...I don't suppose you could save my life, hm?” Caetuna didn't respond. Emina sighed. “Like I thought...The Crystal won't let you...interfere.” She passed out for a moment, and then continued when she was half conscious again. “Look at me...still talking...but not for long.” Caetuna gazed at Emina's bloody body and at her teary smile. “...I do hope that my presence in your life has brought you the joy that you claim.”

Emina chuckled, then moaned in pain. “...It did. So much. Kurasame. And Kazusa. And you...I'm sorry.” She looked at Caetuna's face one last time, then closed her eyes. “It hurts, Caet…” Soon after those words, the pain faded and she found rest until the next cycle.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The chocobo that sustained leg injuries was later transported back to Akademeia and nursed back to health by Izana Kunagiri.


	9. Epilogue

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This garbage fic is finally over, have a short garbage epilogue-ish thing.

Caetuna looked around at the bodies on the ground. Slightly confused as to what she was doing outside in the first place, she teleported back to the catacombs. “How strange…” L'Cie were impermeable to weather conditions of all sorts, but for some reason she felt cold.

_ “Nonsense! You mustn't doubt yourself so, Caetuna. You are, after all, the brightest mind in Akademeia.” _  
_ “You give me far too much praise.” _  
_ “Humble as a saint, you are.” _

  _“I will go now, to see my destiny. I bid thee farewell.”_  
_“Yes. Go to your well-earned rest.”_

  _“In all things, there is meaning. In all things, mourning will end.”_

  _“Dead in life...and alive in death…”_

  _“We're moving way too fast with this. I'm acting like a teenager.”_  
_“Should we pause?”_  
_“Hell no.”_

_ “You're a good listener, Caetuna. But you haven't told me much about yourself. I guess there isn't much for you to say, is there?” _  
_ “You are correct.” _  
_ “It's okay. I can see what kind of person you are.” _  
_ “Person?” _  
_ “You may be a l'Cie, but to me, you're…” _

Caetuna shook her head. “What is this?” The familiar smell of smoke caught her attention. Of course this would be  _ her  _ doing. “Consider them a gift,” the visitor said. She disappeared just as swiftly as she'd arrived, leaving Caetuna to wonder. “It hurts. What a dreadful feeling. Yet…” She sighed. “This part of me has returned as well. I am able to weep once more.”


End file.
